It's Personal...

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Oct 01, 2015 3:16 pm

http://www.rehtwogunraconteur.com/the-s ... in-part-2/

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:51 pm

Jesus Fuck, Verizon is reaching new levels of fail.

There's something meta-ironic about a customer service interaction survey that insists on a phone number at the end when the whole reason for the set of contacts that the survey was referencing was that the company had ceased providing phone service and been unable to restore it for a week now.

Wiseman · Post by **Wiseman** » Sun Oct 04, 2015 12:21 am

So I've started a new job as an apprentice chef at a country club. It's certainly interesting and memorization heavy.

AcidBlades · Post by **AcidBlades** » Sun Oct 04, 2015 1:52 am

I have to admit, I am both agitated and endless amused at how readily one person that I chat too seems so ready to dismiss the fact that I'm gender queer. Somehow making the connection of the fact that I tend to slur my speech and go on tangents, as some sort of strange rebellion from my body because it is most assertively male and it won't stop acting up until I just say I'm a dude.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sun Oct 04, 2015 2:19 am

Oh, hey, another genderqueer person on the Den. Cool.

I used to have an online acquaintance who tried to, constantly, tell me I'm not pan, just gay. That was likewise irritating and amusing.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Tue Oct 06, 2015 2:56 am

2 Weeks Holiday.
I slept till 17:00.
I ordered a Breakfast Pizza at 21:00
My WASD Fingers are already hurting.
JUST AS PLANNED!

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri Oct 09, 2015 4:02 am

Also:
Holy shit i had forgotten how creepy sleep paralysis can be x.x
Am i ever so glad, that that does not happen often enough for me to remember that fact...

angelfromanotherpin · Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:15 pm

That's happened to me a couple of times, although I've never experienced the 'lurking presence' that gets mentioned in the write-ups. But just being paralyzed is unsettling enough.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:26 pm

No, i was face towards wall.
And if you ever had cats or maybe even dogs, you know how it feels when they jump on the bed at your feet and walk up to your head behind your back?
And then my brain went:
a.) The door is still closed.
b.) You are all alone and have no pets.
c.) I am not turning around to check!

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:12 pm

angelfromanotherpin wrote:That's happened to me a couple of times, although I've never experienced the 'lurking presence' that gets mentioned in the write-ups. But just being paralyzed is unsettling enough.

It's been over 25 years for me, although I did see something in the room with me.

Now, I can't say for sure whether my eyes were actually open, or if I was just dreaming that they were. The "presence" tied into what I was dreaming about.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Tue Oct 13, 2015 5:06 pm

Sadly, keeping up with my volume, my surface area has also grown quite considerably over the last 10 to 15 years.
And now i found myself needing a new lether mantle.
Fucking expensive as hell! x.x
1200 - 1800€, because nobody seems to want to sell these things anymore in sizes above small and so i have to go somewhere to have it tailor made <.<

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Oct 13, 2015 6:51 pm

Have you ever had one of those days where you can't seem to do anything right? One where, despite all your efforts, everything you do is fucked up in some way, and you end up doing nothing but make mistakes 24-hours straight? Yeah? Well, I had one of those the other day at Dunkin'.

Every order I got, I somehow messed up, everything from: making an iced coffee and over-spilling the cup because I forgot to turn off the dispenser valve thing, pouring a hot coffee and having my hand slip, resulting in yet more spilled blood coffee over the counter, floor, and my small sensitive balls, working at the sandwich station* (*shudder*) and fucking up everything conceivably possible, to just all around failing at life.

To make it worse, one of my co-workers - whose name is Ivan Wright, but I will keep him unnamed - kept on pointing out these mistakes and making fun of me for it. By the end of the day, whatever little self-worth I had previously was tattered and shredded. I was fucking MISERABLE, and felt like I worthless. I even contemplated stepping out into the middle of the street just to get hit by a car and end it all. Obviously, I didn't. I wish I could say it was because of something like "it was just a bad day, I shouldn't let it get me down, lots to live for, yadda yadda yadda," but that'd be a lie. I didn't because I thought getting run over by a car would hurt. Really.

I'm feeling slightly better today, but I still feel like I can't do anything right. Poor me.

* Everyone, and I mean absolutely EVERYONE, hates doing the sandwich station. I'd rather clean shit out of the toilet with my tongue than ever have to do that nightmare again.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue Oct 13, 2015 7:08 pm

http://www.rehtwogunraconteur.com/the-s ... in-part-3/

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Tue Oct 13, 2015 9:15 pm

I'm really sorry to hear that, Shrapnel.
Don't feel like a failure because accidents happened to you. Accidents happen to all of us. Admittedly accidents do suck, but you don't.
Don't feel like you're a failure because your coworker is being a little fucking shit. I've had coworkers be little fucking shits before. If anything, it means that they are failures.
Don't feel like a failure because your job is treating you roughly. Working at Dunkies does that to everyone; my brother reported a similar experience when he was working there. That's a failure on Dunkies' part.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Tue Oct 13, 2015 11:10 pm

Darth Rabbitt wrote:I'm really sorry to hear that, Shrapnel.
Don't feel like a failure because accidents happened to you. Accidents happen to all of us. Admittedly accidents do suck, but you don't.
Don't feel like you're a failure because your coworker is being a little fucking shit. I've had coworkers be little fucking shits before. If anything, it means that they are failures.
Don't feel like a failure because your job is treating you roughly. Working at Dunkies does that to everyone; my brother reported a similar experience when he was working there. That's a failure on Dunkies' part.

Y'know, DR, you sound like my best friend does when I'm down.

This made me smile.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Oct 14, 2015 1:13 am

Well, I'm doing pallbearing Saturday.

For the father of my cousin who was shot in the head.

He was flat-out murdered last Thursday, and they took his phone, his shoes, even his clothes and left him there. My old boss says that's a gang thing to help remove evidence or something, and he was passing through a bad part of town.

Naturally, his mother/the grandmother who's keeping the son, she's devastated. And her family lives all over the world and I wasn't sure what else to do, so I volunteered to be a pallbearer for several reasons:

1) I'd met the guy, we'd hung out a couple of times at family functions he was invited to, being the boyfriend/baby-daddy of my cousin, played football together once. We both liked Just Cause 2 and shared tips. So I can say whatever else he may have done or said in his life, he was cool enough to hang and talk to anyone, even the young-looking nerdy guy.

2) I'm not sure what other help and support and I give to his family, and to my cousin (the baby-mama)

3) I am emotionally distanced enough to not bawl my eyes out as I help carry the casket

4) Renting a pallbearer from a funeral home is so expensive it's possibly cheaper to find a male prostitute and ask if he has a suit and a free day on Saturday.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Oct 14, 2015 1:52 am

This may be obvious to people other than me, but when I was pallbearer for my grandfather, I didn't realize how heavy the coffin would be. Its not really something you think about. Most people are south of a few hundred pounds, and while that's a noticeable amount, you might think on carrying bags of soil or something and think "eh, it'll be fine, there's six/eight/whatever of us." No one thinks about the physical weight of a modern coffin. They're fucking heavy.

So be ready for that.

Also, I'm sorry for your family to have to deal with this so soon after your cousin getting shot.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Wed Oct 14, 2015 2:15 am

Oh, gosh you guys (Shrapnel, Maxus). I'm so sorry. Life totally throws curveballs at you and it sucks.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Oct 14, 2015 3:00 am

Prak wrote: So be ready for that.

I am. This will be the fifth time doing this particular dance. Still, thanks. A lot of people don't realize.

The first three times were relatives--my uncle, an aunt, and an 'aunt' (actually Dad's cousin, but 'round these parts a significantly older relative who isn't a direct ancestor is an aunt/uncle [delete whichever is in appropriate]). The fourth time, it was a more distant relative (cousin of my grandmother, I think) who lives...well, in town, but I won't say close by. We were at the wake, and her son, a guy named Frank, had a list of four names. I asked why, he explained he was taking names for pallbearers and they only four, I volunteered to save him and his son the pain of carrying a box with his mother in it. After word got around the wake what I was up to, someone's boyfriend likewise volunteered.

Ever since then, Frank's always been glad to see me.

violence in the media · Wed Oct 14, 2015 11:51 am

Damn, Maxus. My condolences.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Wed Oct 14, 2015 12:52 pm

Sorry to hear that, Maxus. I don't know what to say--I have experience with bad days, but not with deaths of family (the closest person I knew whose death I remember was a friend's grandmother who I met once.)

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Oct 14, 2015 5:16 pm

Well, then. Life lesson time.

I've been through the death of four grandparents (three biological, one was mom's stepmom), two uncles (one of them when I was four. I still remember him. And the wake), two aunts, two cousins (both of them better than 10 years older than me. Childhood idols, I guess. They were both pretty cool), a pretty cool teacher, and several other people like the fathers of good friends (twice now). And I've got a heartbreaker coming up--one of my old co-workers, he's 82 and the nicest man in the world. But with health problems.

I've learned this:

1) Even if you didn't know the person, if a loved one's loved one dies, it hurts because it hurts them. Even if it's friends, ask them if they need the support/your presence when they find out about the death. If you've got something that microwaves well and it's easy to swallow, fix a bunch and bring it to their house so they don't have to worry about cooking. Around there parts, we do chicken-and-dumplings and out of the box jamabalaya.

2) You know that "you don't know how long you've got?" thing? Right, I can attest to that. Four of the above list were out of the blue. Two heart attacks, one was complications from gall bladder surgery (that was a mess), and one was a job accident. So some of you may have gotten the impression that I'm a nice person. Well, to tell the truth, I really do try to be someone positive to interact with, and do some good in the world. Seeing death come so suddenly helps internalize THAT Holiday-Card-Esque message.

3) You learn the dance. Wakes aren't so bad. A lot of family members who wouldn't otherwise see each other get to catch up, the bereaved get surrounded and supported. The actual funeral isn't as emotional as you'd think. I guess because the bereaved have had the wake to, well, cry themselves out.

4) Offering to be a pallbearer to keep close family members from fulfilling that job is one of the nicer things you can do for someone.

5) Afterwards, it will hit you sometimes. You'll randomly think about telling the deceased something next time you see them and then remind yourself you can't. All your chances to share things with them are over. It's a hole in the world that eventually gets filled in, but still leaves a mark.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Thu Oct 15, 2015 1:40 am

Being a pallbearer sucks, but it has to be done. Carried 3 or 4 coffins so far, including my mother's last year. And indeed, modern coffins are heavy.

Also, in a few hours it'll be one year since I watched my mother die in the Oshawa Hospital. Got some booze today to prepare. Visited the grave, so I likely won't be there tomorrow.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Sat Oct 17, 2015 9:35 pm

http://imgur.com/a/kOiK0

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Sun Oct 18, 2015 12:35 am

I did the pallbearing job today.

I won't pretend I was super-close to the deceased. Viewing him made me sad, that he was killed for such a stupid reason, but not enough to incapacitate me with grief.

Well, I saw his mother's face when she saw the casket for the first time. Was looking that way when the doors open.

That.

That made me cry.

So there were eight pallbearers instead of the standard six, which was good because we had to carry him a couple of hundred to the graveside and, as Prak noted, caskets are heavy. That made me glad to be one of the extra sets of muscles.

Once I came home, I was working on a sore throat because I've been taking-a-day alergy pills for the past week--goldenrod and other fun things are blooming--and the tears were enough to drain whatever nasty my sinuses had been incubating. So I gargled with some saltwater, then zonked out for the next roughly four hours. And now I'm up and coughing and hacking.

Back to normal life, I guess.